Heavy days and words that aren't pretty

My eyes are open. My ears have heard. My heart has broken.

The last few months at Edgehill have brought gift after gift. From Easter celebrations with water slides, karaoke, and all the cotton candy in the world.(click this video to see the banging job our church did celebrating the joy of Christ in our cityhttp://vimeo.com/93751142) Kid President and the family at SOUL PANCAKE sharing our story with the world. Every day I am more full of gratitude than the previous for all treasures God has given to our park family.
He has given friends who I have seen grow in their love for each other, God Himself, and our kiddos. He has given financial means to throw amazing parties dreamt up by the kids themselves. He has given them the chance to let the world hear their small voices through art shows and disposable cameras mixed with a crew of people who love well. And last but not least He gave growth not only in the amount of kids who come to the circle each week, but growth in their love for each other, love for us, love for their community. 

I often go to Edghill with my head in the clouds, with pride of all that has come to this place in our time there. I often forget of the brokenness that can be found in the shadows of the neighborhood, behind closed doors of the homes we visit, and in the deepest places of our neighbors hearts. Today I was reminded of the dark that lurks around even when we try our best to push it away. I was reminded that as hard as I try, as hard as we try, we can not protect our small friends from the hurt and evil of this world. My stomach turns thinking of how fast the little hands we hold must grow up, how quickly their innocence is stolen from their futures. Selfishly I also hurt because I feel helpless, suffocated by the effects of having to sit by and watch as these babies I love with all of me, hurt, and break under the weight of this heavy world they live in.

I usually attempt to leave my writing with words that ring with notes of joy and bits of wisdom I am learning. But I don't have any pretty words, just feelings that sit deep in my gut that no amount of Office episodes can shake.

I must rest, we must rest in truth that I claim each morning. That despite the darkness that often over shadows the light, God is holy and good. Maybe cheesy and cliche but sanity is found in the sovereignty that those are truths. He is holy and good. He cares for his people, He is just, and that His character reflects the heart of one who desires restoration and reconciliation.

Lord God,
Have mercy on your people. Hear our cries. Protect your children. Show justice to the wicked with your strong arm of compassion. Teach us to love the way that you do. Bind us up in our brokenhearted ways, and let us see your grace more clearly.
Amen